The reviews for Michael Fassbender's new movie are savage AF
In another world, a
movie about a deranged serial killer who dismembers his victims and transplants
their body parts with snowmen could be so entertaining.
But this is not that world, and Tomas Alfredson's The
Snowman (currently rocking 13% on Rotten
Tomatoes) is an incoherent
mess. Critics screened the film in time for its Oct. 19 debut and found nothing
worth redeeming in its cast, plotting, and shoddy editing.
Here's what they had
to say.
The secret comedy
Alissa Wilkinson, Vox:
The overall effect
means that as the movie soldiers bravely on, the suspicion begins to build —
like icy fingers on your neck — that this is not in fact a crime drama, but a
vast punking conspiracy, a bit of avant-garde satire without any clear target.
That feeling only grows with the dialogue, which is baffling in its badness.
“Maybe this will bring your balls back,” Katrine says to Hole, handing him a
cup of vodka. A character speaks of a “pregnancy doctor,” as if anyone calls an
obstetrician by that name. At one point, a character says that he is infertile,
then clarifies helpfully for those in the back that this means he cannot have
children. And there is, of course, the immortal line: “Ah, the great Harry
Hole!” (There is one good on-purpose joke in this movie, and it is about
murder.)
Among all of this is
some truly gruesome imagery and unimaginable violence, deployed cavalierly, and
committed primarily against female victims. Our antihero Hole is himself a bit
of a boor, roughing up his female partner to make a point because he’s got to
save the day, his way. What a guy. With a perplexing tale and some very odd
creative choices, it’s so easy to laugh at “The Snowman,” but this kind of tale
shouldn’t inspire laughter.
That missing footage
Director Tomas
Alfredson has said in interviews that due to scheduling, his team ended up not
shooting a significant portion of the script — something they didn't realize until the
editing stage.
It’s clear that The
Snowman, to have any chance of working, needed to be a careful
balancing act, and that somewhere in this mess of a movie, there’s a thematic
through line about absentee fathers, neglectful mothers, and damaged children.
Unfortunately, it has a hard time finding its way through the utter wreckage of
a picture that’s struggling just to make sense on a narrative level let alone
present a consistent subtext that will draw viewers in and allow us to make
sense of the killer’s motives.
It might take an
investigator more intuitive than Hole to pinpoint precisely where and how
things unraveled in a production that seems to have been second-, third- and
fourth-guessed at every turn, and bears the manifold scars and stitches of
on-the-fly rethinking. The late addition to the credits of Scorsese’s revered
editor Thelma Schoonmaker, supplementing the work of the estimable Claire
Simpson, hints at a high level of creative uncertainty over just how to fillet
and present Nesbø’s dense, misdirection-filled yarn
It’s clear from the
opening scenes that “The Snowman” is off. It’s edited within an inch of its
life, cutting into and away from shots and scenes abruptly. That wonkiness of
tone and pace persists throughout.
It doesn’t help that the film looks absolutely terrible and the screenplay makes very little sense. Subplots are picked up and abandoned. Characters that seem important fade away.
It doesn’t help that the film looks absolutely terrible and the screenplay makes very little sense. Subplots are picked up and abandoned. Characters that seem important fade away.
How did this get made?
...the best that can be said is that it reworks the text just enough to keep the author’s die-hard fans on their frost-bitten toes. Anyone else, however, is likely to be bewildered by a haphazard structure, a surfeit of dill-pickled red herrings and the blank impenetrability of Michael Fassbender’s Harry Hole, a supposedly rule-averse detective who does markedly little detecting over the course of two hours. (Perhaps that’s his maverick USP.)
Watching The
Snowman keeps you so thoroughly occupied with trying to figure
out why the movie itself exists that all
other questions become irrelevant.
“The Snowman” has
everything (just not a coherent plot): creepy abortion doctors, human
trafficking, really bad Scandinavian techno, Michael Fassbender passed out in
the snow, a terrible wig on Rebecca Ferguson, Chloe Sevigny chopping heads off
chickens, J.K. Simmons attempting a Norweigan-ish accent, Val Kilmer singing
“Happy Birthday” while chugging vodka out of a sports bottle, and, of course,
the bloodiest, most macabre snowmen ever.
Doubt the movie is as bad as rotten tomatoes is at its profession.
ReplyDeleteI saw an advanced screening the other night and IT IS TERRIBLE
ReplyDeleteWelp, strike that one off the list @DavidThorne @RobLinter @AndyDubber. Not a snowball's chance I'm seeing it now :-P
ReplyDelete@EmilieGleason! Still want to see it though
ReplyDeleteHAHAHAHA LMAO
ReplyDelete13% rating lol
ReplyDeleteWe gotta watch @EugeneLee
ReplyDeleteOh No!
ReplyDeleteAnna when Elsa didn't wanna build a snowman....
ReplyDelete"...going after women he disapproves of..."
ReplyDeleteThe Snowman is the ultimate thot slayer
In 30 years it'll be IT Snowman version
ReplyDeleteThe two worst traits to mix is being
ReplyDelete-Extremely Intelligent
-Extremely Insane
The snowman killer in one person.
i cant take a movie where the villain is olaf the snowman seriously
ReplyDeleteWinter is coming
ReplyDeleteNEW IT -> NEW SNOWMAN
ReplyDelete