Watch Nikki Glaser's brutal Golden Globes opening monologue.

Watch Nikki Glaser's brutal Golden Globes opening monologue

No one is safe.
By Matthews Martins on 
Credit: YouTube / Golden Globes / Mashable composite

Comments

  1. I­f­ y­o­u­­ c­a­n­ w­o­r­k­ f­r­o­m­ h­o­m­e­ p­l­e­a­s­e­ l­e­t­ m­e­ k­n­ow­ b­e­c­a­u­s­e­ w­e­ h­a­v­e­ a­ l­o­t­ o­f­ o­p­e­n­i­n­g­s­.

    C­­O­­PY­­­ ­­H­­E­­R­­E➤➤ 𝐒­­𝐚­­𝐥­­𝐚­­𝐫­­𝐲­­𝐇­­𝐞­­𝐫­­𝐞.𝐂­­𝐨­­𝐦

    Y­o­u­ w­i­l­l­ g­o­o­d­ e­a­r­n­ m­o­n­e­y­ i­n­ m­o­n­t­h­. ­T­h­i­s­ o­p­p­o­r­t­u­n­i­t­y­ a­v­a­i­l­a­b­l­e­ f­o­r­ l­i­m­i­t­e­d­ t­i­m­e­.

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  2. she is always hilarious

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  3. Can't beat Ricky Gervais but not too bad, not too bad...

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    Replies
    1. come here just to write same thing…

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  4. She was terrible almost unwatchable

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  5. I enjoyed watching her.

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  6. I confess, I did not know who this woman was, or is. I wasn’t going to watch until I found quickly she is very funny. Yeah, at a few people’s expense, but she is more general sometimes (directors). I’d make a joke out of not making a joke out of Harrison Ford; some people are off limits, unless it’s not personal. He didn’t look like he was expecting the best. I’d like to hear the whole thing sometime, even if some are in bad taste.

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  7. She rocked it and clearly held back on some really good stuff which would have taken this to an unforgettable level (a Will Smith / Chris Rock level). Forget the room, the audience wants to hear this and poking fun at this ridiculously elite group celebrating themselves. Making fun of themselves in celebration is also good. More Diddy jokes.

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  8. She did good… had she told most of these jokes, she’d have done great!

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  9. Some of the best jokes were cut.

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  10. Is this going to be like when she did the Tom Brady roast and then spent a month running to every podcast and show to talk about it?

    Just do your job and go home.

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    Replies
    1. Her job IS to keep talking about it. It really isn’t rocket science. Being mean and dumb a the same time is a rough combination, Bro.

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    2. It’s Monday. How about you go do your job and stop worrying about other people doing theirs. Back to work.

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  11. She was terrific!

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  12. She was just okay. But the main problem is that she is absolutely B-list.

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  13. I liked the Adam Sandler part with Timothée 😂

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  14. The fear she put in all of the actors’ hearts when she said their names is the absolute best part of this monologue

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  15. She absolutely killed it.

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  16. Ricky Gervais and Nikki Glaser put these people down to Earth for a minute

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  17. The way she bowed her head to Tilda Swinton before roasting her..😂😂just perfect

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  18. She is becoming undeniable. Crazy watching her come up over the years, she always seemed like a good soul, she deserves all the success! Amazing comedian!

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  19. The Sandler bit was perfect

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    Replies
    1. it started out rough but she had faith and pulled through. big respect

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    2. And the fact that he participated? Epic.

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    3. I think he had a mic there on the table for him....

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    4. probably a boom but yeah, definitely prepared for the moment. Super funny!!

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  20. This was phenomenal. She's able to to get the whole crowd to laugh at themselves without making anyone uncomfortable. Love it

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  21. This was so good. EVERY SINGLE JOKE LANDED. SO good! And those throw away lines in the middle that half the room missed. Ugh. Just a perfect set. Everyone roasted, toasted, and I am here for it. Flawless.

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  22. Whoever decided Nikki Glaser should host deserves a raise

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  23. I'm glad Nikki's talent is being recognized. Fantastic comedian. Nikki every year, please!

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  24. Killed it and looked beautiful while doing it. Respect. 🎉

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  25. She's one of the best. Her flow, rhythm and consistency has viewers on their toes with what is next to come.

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  26. So good, the jokes were on point and so was the delivery. I'm not sure who is up for an award but Nikki won tonight!

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    Replies
    1. She looks like she has a LOT of work done!

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  27. I was having a very hard day and my uncle told me to watch this. She made me laugh so hard that i feel my lungs collapsing!😂 I am definitely watching her stand up now !

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  28. Well done Nikki!. Worth viewing again!

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  29. It's so satisfying to see Nikki reach this level of success. She has been working so hard for so long, and she has always been this funny... the rest of the world is just finally catching up.

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  30. She absolutely crushed it.

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  31. The Sandler CHALAMET was worth the entire clip! 😂

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    Replies
    1. x10,000... why isn´t everybody typing about it anyway

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  32. What makes this incredible is you don't feel the time go. It simply just happens and you can listen all day. As someone who does presentations, I can tell you, some people are talented but those that take it to the next level, are always remembered.

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  33. Rare is an award host that delivers with each joke. She wasn’t rude, demeaning or cruel to the attendees. She had the delicate balance of being funny, spot on and classy. If the audience was wondering if she was going to be in “roast” mode, they need not be. Everything Ms. Glaser said was not mean spirited. Her material was fresh, pertinent and funny. This won’t be her last hosting event. Bravo!

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    Replies
    1. Maybe not rude and cruel for all the Hollywood weirdos but it sure was rude and crude to all the Diddy victims!

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  34. Most of us are not aware about the huge writing effort and rehearsal. To kill like this, with perfect punchlines and timing requires and amazing effort. I love Nikki, she has been the best at it.

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  35. She literally was amazing . This is her time. Make that money

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  36. Best awards show monologue I can remember seeing. Funny and masterfully executed on that fine line of roasting without offending. Brilliantly done.

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    Replies
    1. Ricky Gervais was better. But this was pretty good.

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    2. I guess you didn't see Ricky Gervais then

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  37. Congrats to Nikki on hosting the Golden Globes.

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  38. The Joker 2 joke had me HOWLINNNGGG

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  39. She picked her spots so well. A true comic at heart

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  40. "I give it two fingers up!" omg. lol

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  41. It’s insane how sharp and smooth she is simultaneously. The material flows naturally.
    Well done!

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  42. She murdered this opening. Well done!!

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  43. This was so funny from start to finish. So happy for Nikki. She’s been on fire for the past 8 months. Glad she’s finally getting this type of recognition after a 20 year career.❤️🙌🏾🤙🏾

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  44. Had full confidence and she delivered.

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  45. Kate winslet looking so confused is so funny 😭😭

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  46. That was absolutely phenomenal.

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  47. Thanks for sharing this, learned a lot.

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  48. “No baby’s oil this year just lot of olive oil” 😂😂😂

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  49. This was classy yet witty at the same time and the intro was the perfect length. She was fantastic ❤

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    1. fantastically tame and lame, and beside the point.

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  50. 3:49 The way Stanley Tucci caught a stray 😂

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  51. She is the only reason I watched this. It's still going on 3 hours later, when is it going to end?!

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    1. She is the only reason I watched this. It's still going on 3 hours later, when is it going to end?!

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  52. I didn't think I would enjoy this as much as I did. She has the right tone and delivery. Well done girl!

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    1. I have no idea who she was and she nailed it! And made new fans.

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    2. Oh, this is not her best work. You are in for a treat on youtube.

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  53. Please let her host every year. I laughed consistently for ten minutes straight! She is so talented and funny!!

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    Replies
    1. Like an actual belly laughs! I’ve loved her years! I’m proud her like I know her 😂

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  54. She did an absolutely amazing job. Pitch perfect.

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  55. This is the best opening monologue I’ve seen for awhile omfg perfect host

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    Replies
    1. No it's not. Jimmy Kimmel did it better.

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    2. "This is the best opening monologue I’ve seen " In other words it has nothing to do with you.

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    3. Not A PATCH ON RICKY GERVAIS....NAH NOT FUNNY

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    4. ricky gervais hello

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  56. She has become First Lady of Roasting.

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  57. I always considered her a top notch comedian and probably the best roaster. The Brady roast was amazing and got the credit it deserved. Glad to see that she's keeping up her game.

    Way to go, Nikki!

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  58. "Two-time Holocaust survivor Adrien Brody" was brilliant

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    1. I'm surprised she didn't throw in a roast of his girlfriend who used to be married to Weinstein

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    2. Where is the roast? She isn't defined by his cowardly cruel actions.

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    3. what he's with weinsteins ex wife, what a muppet lol

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  59. She absolutely killed it.

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  60. She is HILARIOUS! Just look at the comments on this video! Not a single negative comment! That speaks for it self! And all the jokes are so original and you can tell she wrote them all by herself because the delivery is on point! That Adam Sandler bit was one of the best impressions Ive ever seen!!!!

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    1. She wrote exactly none of the jokes. You'd know this is you knew anything about comedy or roasts

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    2. she is a comedian and she writes her jokes lol. She actually writes other people’s jokes at roasts. You know nothing

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    3. Gillis wrote some of her jokes on the last roast. She’s even said it herself

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    4. I know better than you as an actual comedy fan (as opposed to some superficial celebrity chaser). Nikki is one of the funniest female standup comics (something I care about), and she writes most of her jokes for standup. Roasts are different from standup. She HERSELF freely admits that she’s not good at roasts, and a team of writers writes all her roast jokes. Her “famous” Tom Brady roast was almost entirely written by other people. Now that I’ve done all the “emotional labor”to get you educated, stay in your lane (ie, sheep-like over-the-top worship of every female celebrity amplified in your artificial social media bubbles)

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  61. we call that boring.

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  62. Except maybe Harrison Ford. His expression was something between confusion and disgust, and the joke was so mild 😂

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  63. I just don't think he got it. Which is even funnier because that's what the joke was essentially about. 😂

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  64. that’s his idea of defense , for everything he doesn’t understand, so that’s his usual response

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  65. This was actually really good. Wasn't expecting that.

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  66. I haven't watched an awards show in 20 years and I still haven't; but, I did tune in for 10 minutes of Nikki's monologue---Brilliant.

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  67. She’s one of the best hosts so far !!! And in the comments people saying she was not mean enough or didn’t roast enough, she was super funny without being mean and that’s the art of comedy

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    1. The first art of comedy is to be funny. She needs to work on that part.

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    2. lol she was really funny in this set ure the one that needs work 😂

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    3. She was great, but she's no Ricky Gervais.

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  68. And that is your monologue Masterclass. Thanks for coming.

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  69. she ate and left no crumbs amazing

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  70. I've watched this on repeat and I'm speechless. She just gets it and hits every comedic beat spot on. They will have to bring her back.

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  71. Love her so much. I literally just watched the golden globes only because of her. I’m so happy she is getting the recognition she deserves! I do wish she wasn’t so nice, but I get why she was. Still was suddenly harsh and so quick, as she usually is. She really brought it. So happy for her❤

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  72. I loved this! Finally, someone who understands you don't need to make mean-spirited cheap shots to 'try' and make yourself seem funny... This was a great monologue; really funny and well put together. Nikki showed true talent and humor. It seemed like everyone was laughing and having a good time. GREAT JOB NIKKI!!!!

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  73. I'm honestly happy for Nikki that she gets center stage. She's always got incredible material

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  74. Seth Meyers had that knowing smile right off the top. Love how much he loves comics. Nikki Glaser, you ROCKED.

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  75. I used to like her before but dang, she is definitely top of the comedian list now!

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  76. FLAWLESS. Let her do it every year.

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  77. Adam Sandler saying “Chalamettttt” made my year 😭 But Timmy’s poor stache man😔🙏

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  78. I just want to say she looks very beautiful and she has a lovely glow about her.

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  79. Nikki knocked it out of the park and she looks flawless doing it.

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    Replies
    1. Let's be honest ... something was off with her face.

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    2. Yep. I'm not used to seeing her with lips.

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    3. ... and the cheekbones? The botox forehead? Something happened around the eyes? is the nose still the same?

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  80. I was so excited for her to host and she didn't disappoint! Killed it at every turn

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  81. She killed it. Masterclass folks😅

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  82. Just got home after a long day’s work. I don’t know how I didn’t choke on my dinner. After Gervais I never thought I’d laugh this hard at the Golden Balls ever again.

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  83. Don’t know what’s making me happier—listening to Nikki’s performance or seeing her finally get the credit she deserves❤

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  84. Yay! Well done Nikki you killed it. She really has moved to the next level

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  85. She is funny and light-hearted but also getting in every single jab. TOP SHELF! 👌🏿

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  86. Very well done, appreciate this video!

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  87. Petition for Nikki Glaser to host the Globes and honestly most award shows from now on 🙌🏼

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    1. f your "petition" lol, that time is over lololol, "petition" 😂😂😂

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    2. 😂😂 no need for negativity man, just expressing an opinion in a funny way

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  88. The presence of hostess is strong skill. Strong energy. Beautiful.

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  89. I love when the host roasts celebrities, thank you for your service.

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  90. i knew she would do amazing 😂😂

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  91. I wouldn’t call myself a Nikki fan but she knocked this out of the park and won me over!! Well written, and delivered, and she set a great tone for the entire event! Brava! 🥂

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  92. She is so talented and funny. I love her style. The way she delivers her jokes. She's a superstar now in stand-up comedy

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  93. best host choice I can think of for this year! and she delivered!! so funny

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  94. She ate and left no crumbs

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  95. Never heard her before. She was very good. self-deprecating and burning everybody - great job.

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    Replies
    1. Watch the roast of Tom Brady. Then go back and watch her on other roasts. She's brilliant.

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    2. you can go back a decade & she was killing it then!
      Glad she’s getting her time to shine! ✨

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  96. she’s so sick for that last bit 😭😭
    genius

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  97. Sandler was the highlight. He's such a good dude.

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  98. 😅😅 She’s such a natural. Doesn’t have to try so hard to be funny. She just is funny & hilarious. Great great job!!! 👏👏👏👏

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  99. Nikki Glaser home run with this monologue. Perfect.

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  100. My first time watching the golden globes in full yes you heard that I STAYED for Nikki this opening monologue was enough to keep me hooked omg she ATE

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  101. First time seeing her...killed 😂

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  102. After Brady’s roasting, Nikki is now on another level with the great ones. She made it. Not too insulting , not too conservative, not embarrassing, no drama, no foul outrageous words, without picking on just one theme to death, just pure next to the fine line of comedy, very close to a perfect monologue. Leave them wanting more…!!!🎉

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    Replies
    1. I actually think her roast of Brady was just meh in comparison with many of her other roasts (with the exception of her Gronk jokes).

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  103. Always funny when Hollywood is roasted. From Ricky to Nikki, this was hilarious 😂😂😂

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    1. Not a patch on Ricky

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    2. So what ? Hollywood actors with talent will always be remembered for their work and class , but this commedian / bully will never be remembered, only for this travesty .

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    3. Ricky is still the only comedian that’s actually hilarious.

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  104. That Ben Affleck joke 🤌🏻🤌🏻

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    Replies
    1. Could you explain it, please? Sorry...😢

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    2. it was just a funny play on words since he’s from Boston

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  105. Great video! Really enjoyed it.

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  106. This was exactly what I needed, thanks!

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  107. She ruffled feathers and was actually funny while doing it. Bravo

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  108. That was great! Honestly, she's just naturally funny.

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  109. Awesome video, looking forward to the next one!

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  110. Gervais-levels of brilliance. Hope to see you host many more, congrats!

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  111. That was so good!! Such flow and perfect delivery. It felt light hearted and not cringey like a lot of them tend to be

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  112. With joy and grace she delivered it! I’m happy she got there! 👏🏽

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  113. Your videos are always so helpful, thank you!

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  114. This and Ricky! Best monologues for sure

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  115. I loved the worried look on everybody's faces.

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    Replies
    1. They must've watched the Tom Brady roast 😅

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    2. Harrison Ford was panicking 😂

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    3. i bet she's scoring more touchdowns, then Tom brady

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  116. You can tell how expert this monologue was from the fact that EVERYONE in the comments has a different favourite line. As ever, a masterclass from Nikki Glaser.

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  117. Can watch this on repeat! 🔥🔥🔥 Nikki never disappoints 🙌🏽

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  118. “I like did not know much about Wicked going into this year cause I had friends in high school”😂😂

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  119. Thank you golden globes for giving Nikki glaser a chance omg

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  120. I’m so proud of you, Nikki! Been obsessed with you because of your Conan appearances, you deserve it all!!!!

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  121. One of the better openings in a while

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