Stephen Colbert mocks U.S./China agreement to 'enhance ambition’ on tackling climate change.
Stephen Colbert mocks U.S./China agreement to 'enhance ambition’ on tackling climate change
The globe's two biggest polluters have agreed on...something?...to apparently tackle climate change, maybe?
While world leaders attempt to come to an agreement on climate change at the COP26 summit, China and the U.S. announced a surprise and extremely vague joint agreement on Wednesday to (wait for it) "enhance ambition" on climate change. According to the New York Times, the two countries said they would cooperate to cut emissions overall this decade, with China committing to reduce methane gas emissions and "phase down" coal from 2026 without any real timeline details.
The Late Show's Stephen Colbert spoke on the agreement during his monologue on Thursday. "Maybe, could be significant because the United States and China are the world’s two biggest polluters," he said. "Of course, the number three is any Keurig machine — I take my coffee with milk, sugar, and a little cup that fits right into a dolphins blowhole!"
Colbert called out the indecisiveness of the language used, even offering up a meter clocking up diplomatic levels of crisis response.
"This agreement is pretty short on specifics. The nations just agreed to 'enhance ambition' on climate. 'Enhance ambition' is a technical diplomatic level of crisis response. It goes: enhance ambition, elevate enthusiasm, biggie size initiative, extra crispy, and too late we're already dead!"
Wish he was wrong, tbh.
.webp)
That's the most g-rated definition of thirsty I've ever heard.
ReplyDeleteYeah I suspect young folks are going to have to explain the correct definition over holiday dinner after an older relative declares they’re thirsty after hearing it on Colbert lmao
Delete“Enhance ambition” or as my grandmother used to say “start to begin to commence”
ReplyDeleteOr as Scarlett O'Hara said, "I'll think about that tomorrow."
Delete“I was promised a normal holiday season”
ReplyDeleteMy country was promised a “Meaningful Christmas” last winter…and got the mother of all spikes a couple of weeks after :|
It'll be an Easter miracle if we can just get through these fifteen days to flatten the curve
DeleteWe owe an apology to our veterans for letting our politicians send them to kill and die for nothing.
ReplyDeleteWe also owe an apology to the organizers of the first earth day.
DeleteThe oldsters are picking up "woke" from Tucker and Laura.
ReplyDelete"To save their business, they're betting on malls..."
ReplyDeleteMe: ::laughs in Dan Bell::
I've already seen F9, Dune, Shang Chi, and Black Widow at the movies this year. The Eternals is next.
ReplyDeleteAMC's stealing the popcorn idea from small local theatres. The Historical Rohs Theatre, in Cynthiana, KY, had "Drive-Up-Popcorn" for the better part of '20 to help keep the place kicking...and it still is.
ReplyDelete"Woke" is a term from before boomers were born, so that part actually makes sense.
ReplyDeleteI love the salute to veterans among the shows staff & their families.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Veterans, for your service. God Bless!
ReplyDeleteI want to know who wrote the Cray’s Anatomy joke ;D
ReplyDeleteThe orange man is extra salty about previous elections. He just thirsty is all. :-P
ReplyDeleteNOT Enough attention is given to JON! He had me rollin with LAUGHter
ReplyDeleteI wonder what veterans feel when they hear people getting all mooshy on Veterans Day. Big words, nothing to show for.
ReplyDeleteI was saying "salty" in the 90's and it isn't thirsty its hungry
ReplyDeleteim a word nerd. i like knowing what my words mean. that being said i discovered i was using slang too much so i started using more precise language lately. my slang was so ubiquitous at this point the words were starting to feel less novel and even uninspired.
ReplyDeleteI like his shows in front an audience better. Especially when he walks across the camera shot.
ReplyDeleteTrue, the energy is way different
DeleteHe was really throwing some jabs tonight. I loved it.
ReplyDeleteI've got a massive thirst on and so much pandemic anxiety that I can't do anything about it ;P
ReplyDeleteI've had 3 covid shots now so I'm done with caring about covid. as far as I'm concerned i can just catch it now get the stronger antibodies and move on with life
ReplyDelete